Beautiful Sorrow
by Owl of the Moon
Summary: The beauty of their love shone even through their sorrow. What if Rose hadn't jumped off the lifeboat? Oneshot. Complete.


**A/N: I know this has been done A LOT, but I just couldn't get this out of my head.**

Rose shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around her. She tucked a few loose strands of hair back into the blanket. Her usually bright and vibrant curls were flat and dull. Her skin, though already pale, was lackluster. She hadn't seen her reflection in a mirror, but she could feel that her eyes were bloodshot. Rose was still wearing the same dress. Some passengers on the Carpathia had donated clothes, and it would have been easy for Rose to bathe and change into clean dry clothes.

But Rose didn't care. She had never cared for the first class lifestyle, but now it mattered less than ever. The fact that she looked like a pitiful, drowned rat didn't come close to bothering her. It didn't make any difference to her that she had claimed a bench among the steerage deck instead of a nice warm bed inside. Since the moment she stepped onto the lifeboat, Rose had been cold. It wasn't just the air nipped at her skin, it was the tragedy nipping at her heart.

Wives had lost husbands, children had lost fathers. Rose had heard somewhere along the way that roughly fifteen hundred people had perished. Innocent souls had horrifically died. Jack had been one of those souls.

The lump that formed in her throat was hard to swallow. Rose closed her eyes and saw Jack's face immediately. It wasn't the happy, laughing face that she had come to love in the past few days. It was a face filled with sorrow as Rose's lifeboat lowered away from the doomed ship. His mouth had quivered as he forced a weak smile. The corners of his eyes were damp with tears. He nodded at her slightly, silently telling her that it would be okay. A flare was shot up and as it illuminated his face, Rose saw the love in his beautiful eyes.

And just like that, Jack Dawson was gone from her life.

Rose's head felt heavy, and she laid down on the bench. So far, she had eluded Cal by hiding in plain sight. He could only assume that she was alive, as he saw her get on the boat. Twice so far he had come to the steerage area, looking for her. But he never spotted her. And even if he did, there was no way on Earth that Rose would ever go back to him. To go back to Cal would mean that had Jack died in vain.

As her eyes began to close, Rose tried to imagine Jack's arms around her. She wanted to badly to feel his body against hers, warming her up. But all she had was a blanket. She pulled it up over her head and cried herself to sleep.

_**...**_

At some point during her nap, the blanket over Rose's head had shifted. The late afternoon sun hit her curls, giving them a hint of life. But asleep, she didn't notice. Someone else however, did.

He felt his heart drop into his stomach. _You're seeing things. You've already searched the ship twice for her. _ Convinced his exhausted mind was playing tricks on him, he closed his eyes. He mentally counted to ten and opened them again. She was still there.

_You saw her get in the boat. But people did die in the boats. What if she couldn't handle the cold after being chased into the flooded ship? _

He didn't realize that his feet had been carrying him towards her until he was there. Rose moved slightly in her sleep and the blanket fell away from her face completely. He gasped quietly. _It's her. She's okay._

Kneeling beside the bench, he just stared at her, half expecting to wake up any second. Three days ago, her hair had been vibrant, her skin had been creamy, and the dark rings under her eyes hadn't been there. _ But beneath all that sorrow, she's still beautiful. _ Gingerly so as not to startle her awake, he reached out to touch her face.

To his surprise, Rose sighed in her sleep. "Jack." He couldn't help but smile.

"I'm right here Rose," Jack said, his voice hoarse from his ordeal. "Just sleep. I'm not leaving."

Rose let out a deeper sigh. "Okay," she whispered. "Just a little while..." Jack's smile widened. He wanted to badly to shake her shoulder and wake her up. But it was more than obvious that she needed sleep. Soon after Rose had begun snoring softly.

Jack sat on the deck in front of the bench and just stared at her. The gentle rise and fall of her chest comforted him, even though all he was doing was watching the movement. It was just a simple reminder that she was alive. He'd heard rumors that people had died in the lifeboats, and feared that she could have been one of them. And though he hated to admit it, there was a part of him that feared she had decided to return to Cal.

The thought of Cal made Jack automatically turn around and sweep his eyes over the deck. He didn't know what happened to Cal, but he couldn't bring himself not to care. After all, if Cal was still alive, he would be looking for her. _He's never going to get near her,_ he vowed to himself.

Rose rolled to her side, her hand dropping off her body and almost into Jack's lap. Unable to stop himself, he took her hand in his, frowning at how cold her skin felt. He kissed her knuckles lightly.

_I'm dreaming. When I wake up I'll just be staring at nothing. I'm not going to see Jack's face when I open my eyes._ But unlike the other dreams she had been having, this one felt _real._ She was afraid to open her eyes. Afraid that Jack wasn't there with her brushing his lips over her knuckles. Instead, she squeezed her eyes together tighter. A quietly choked sob escaped her throat.

"Wake up Rose," Jack whispered. He wasn't sure if she was having a bad dream or not, but the peaceful look had left her face. He heard her take a deep breath before opening her eyes. Jack smiled at her. "Hello beautiful."

Rose sat straight up, pulling her hand from his and looking away. "I'm dreaming. If I'm not dreaming, then I'm hallucinating." Jack hated the sound of despair in her voice and got off of the deck to sit next to her. She stared at him.

"I promise you're not dreaming. And I know you're not dreaming, because I'm not dreaming." Jack placed his hand against her cheek. "Or hallucinating," he added with smile. He inched his face closer to hers.

"Jack," she whispered. But that was all she could whisper as his mouth captured hers. She fell into the kiss, feeling warmer as their arms encircled each other.

"Have you ever hallucinated that?" Jack asked when he broke the kiss. Rose couldn't hold back the smile.

"You're here," she whispered. All the pain and mourning that had taken over her heart and soul seemed to drift away in the breeze. She pressed her face into his neck. "You're really here."

Rose's breath tickled his neck, and Jack smiled. "I'm really here," he repeated. He pulled her away to look in her eyes. "And I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"I swear." He placed his fingers under her chin. "How else can I take you to Santa Monica?"


End file.
